Your child knows they have homework to finish. You've reminded them more than once, and they may even agree that they need to get started. Yet somehow, they're still scrolling on their phone, playing video games, or finding something else to do.
Perhaps it's not just homework. Getting ready in the morning, starting chores, cleaning their room, or completing everyday responsibilities can become an ongoing struggle. As a parent, it can be frustrating to watch your child put off something they're perfectly capable of doing, especially when the task itself might only take a few minutes.
It's easy to interpret these situations as laziness, defiance, or a lack of motivation. However, difficulty getting started isn't always about willingness or effort. Sometimes, it reflects challenges with task initiation, an important executive functioning skill that helps us turn intentions into action.
Understanding why getting started can be so difficult can help parents respond in ways that build skills, reduce frustration, and support greater independence over time.
What Is Task Initiation?
Task initiation refers to our ability to begin an activity or responsibility without unnecessary delay. It's one of several executive functioning skills that help us plan, organize, manage our attention, regulate our behaviour, and work toward goals.
Executive functioning skills are closely associated with the brain's prefrontal cortex and its connections with other brain regions. These systems continue to mature throughout childhood and adolescence and into early adulthood. This means that children and teens are still developing the skills needed to plan ahead, manage distractions, shift between activities, and independently follow through on responsibilities.
While some children seem to manage routines and responsibilities with relative ease, others need more structure, reminders, or support. These differences can reflect normal developmental variation, as well as individual differences in executive functioning.
A child who struggles with task initiation may know exactly what they're supposed to do but have difficulty taking that first step. They might repeatedly say, "I'll do it in a minute," become distracted by other activities, or appear overwhelmed before they've even begun.
Importantly, difficulty starting a task doesn't necessarily mean a child is unable to complete it. In fact, some children and teens do quite well once they finally get going.
Why Is Getting Started Often the Hardest Part?
For some children and teens, beginning a task requires more effort than completing it.
Consider a teen who spends half an hour avoiding a homework assignment, only to finish it in 15 minutes once they begin. From a parent's perspective, this can be confusing. If the work wasn't particularly difficult, why was getting started such a struggle?
The answer may lie in the number of mental processes involved in moving from intention to action.
Before beginning a task, a child or teen may need to:
Recognize what needs to be done.
Decide where to begin and what steps are involved.
Shift their attention away from another activity.
Gather the necessary materials and organize their workspace.
Manage feelings of boredom, frustration, uncertainty, or overwhelm.
Take the first step, even when they don't feel particularly motivated.
These processes often overlap and may happen almost automatically for someone with well-developed executive functioning skills. For a child or teen who finds them challenging, however, getting started can require considerable mental effort.
Once the task is underway, some of these initial demands are reduced. The child has a clearer sense of what they're doing, the materials are in front of them, and they may begin to experience a sense of progress. This can make continuing easier than starting.
In other words, getting started is a skill in itself, and one that some children and teens need help developing.
Why Can My Child Focus on Video Games but Not Homework?
One common frustration for parents is watching their child spend long periods playing video games, watching videos, or scrolling on their phone, yet struggle to begin a relatively short homework assignment or household chore.
This can make it seem as though their child is capable of focusing when they want to, but simply chooses not to when responsibilities are involved.
However, attention and task initiation are influenced by more than willingness or effort.
Activities such as video games and social media often provide immediate feedback, novelty, and frequent rewards. These features can make them particularly engaging and easier to sustain attention on. Homework, chores, and other responsibilities, on the other hand, may require more planning, mental effort, and the ability to work toward a less immediate reward.
There's also the challenge of transitioning between activities. A teen may be perfectly capable of completing their math homework but find it difficult to stop gaming, shift their attention, organize their materials, and begin.
For children and teens who struggle with executive functioning, this transition can be especially demanding.
Of course, technology isn't necessarily the cause of task initiation difficulties. Many children and teens experience similar struggles when transitioning away from other preferred activities. Technology can, however, create additional distractions and make it easier to put off less appealing responsibilities.
Being able to focus on something enjoyable doesn't necessarily mean a child can initiate and sustain attention on every type of activity with equal ease.
What Else Can Make Getting Started Difficult?
Although task initiation is an executive functioning skill, there are many reasons a child or teen might struggle to begin something.
For example:
Feeling overwhelmed: A large assignment or messy bedroom may feel so daunting that the child doesn't know where to start.
Anxiety or perfectionism: Worrying about making mistakes, not doing something well enough, or facing a difficult task can contribute to avoidance.
Attention difficulties: Children and teens with ADHD may have particular difficulty initiating less-preferred tasks, managing distractions, or shifting between activities.
Learning challenges: When schoolwork feels consistently difficult or frustrating, a child may become reluctant to begin.
Stress, fatigue, or low mood: Emotional and physical well-being can affect the energy and mental resources available for everyday responsibilities.
It's also important to remember that procrastination is common, particularly when tasks are boring or unpleasant. Not every child who puts off homework or chores has an executive functioning difficulty.
The goal is to understand what might be getting in the way, rather than assuming that all delays have the same cause.
How Can Parents Help Children and Teens Get Started?
When task initiation is difficult, repeated reminders, lectures, or consequences may not address the underlying challenge. Instead, parents can help by creating structure, reducing barriers, and gradually teaching the skills needed to begin tasks more independently.
Here are five strategies to consider.
1. Make the First Step Smaller
Sometimes, the hardest part of a task is figuring out where to begin.
Instead of saying, "Go do your homework," try helping your child identify one specific, manageable action, such as taking out their math book, opening their laptop to the assignment, or completing the first question.
Similarly, "Clean your room" might become "Start by putting your clothes in the laundry basket."
A smaller first step can make a task feel less overwhelming and help build momentum. Sometimes, motivation develops after we begin rather than before.
2. Establish Predictable Routines
When children and teens have to decide when to begin a responsibility each day, getting started can become another challenge.
Predictable routines reduce some of that decision-making.
For example, a family might establish a routine of having a snack and some downtime after school, followed by homework at a consistent time. Morning and evening routines can also help children know what to expect and what comes next.
The goal isn't to create an overly rigid schedule, but to make everyday responsibilities more predictable and manageable.
3. Try a "First Work, Then Play" Approach
For some children and teens, it's particularly difficult to transition from an enjoyable activity, such as gaming or scrolling on their phone, to a less-preferred responsibility.
A "first work, then play" approach can provide helpful structure by establishing clear expectations about when responsibilities and recreational activities will occur.
For example, a family might agree that homework begins before recreational screen time, or that a household responsibility is completed before starting a preferred activity.
However, this doesn't have to mean completing every responsibility before having any opportunity to relax. Children often need time to rest and recharge after a demanding school day, and some benefit from shorter work periods followed by planned breaks.
For a child who finds starting especially difficult, the expectation might be to work on homework for 15 minutes before taking a break, rather than finishing an entire assignment at once.
The key is to create realistic, consistent expectations that support skill development rather than turning every responsibility into a power struggle.
4. Reduce Distractions and Support Transitions
When possible, create an environment that makes getting started easier.
This might involve putting phones away during homework, turning off unnecessary notifications, having materials ready, or using a visual schedule or timer.
It can also help to prepare children for transitions rather than expecting them to immediately stop an enjoyable activity and begin something else.
For example, a parent might give a reminder that homework time is approaching and encourage their child to finish what they're doing before transitioning.
For older children and teens, involving them in developing these routines can support a greater sense of ownership and independence.
5. Provide Scaffolding and Gradually Build Independence
One of the most important ways parents can support task initiation is through scaffolding.
Scaffolding involves providing the structure and assistance a child needs to succeed with something they cannot yet manage consistently on their own, then gradually reducing that support as their skills develop.
For example, a parent might initially sit with their child to review what homework needs to be completed, help organize the materials, and identify the first step.
As the child becomes more comfortable with the routine, the parent might shift to a brief check-in or reminder. Eventually, the child may be able to begin using their own checklist, schedule, or other strategies.
For teens, scaffolding might involve collaboratively developing a homework routine, setting phone reminders, or planning how to balance schoolwork with recreational screen time.
The goal isn't to do the work for children or teens, but to provide enough support for them to practise the skills they are still developing.
It's also important to recognize that independence doesn't necessarily mean doing everything without support. Some children and teens, particularly those with more significant executive functioning difficulties, may continue to benefit from external tools and routines.
Learning to use supports effectively is itself an important part of becoming independent.
When Might Additional Support Be Helpful?
Some difficulty getting started is a normal part of childhood and adolescence. However, when task initiation difficulties are persistent, occur across multiple areas of life, or significantly interfere with schoolwork, daily responsibilities, or family relationships, it may be helpful to explore what is contributing to the challenge.
For some children and teens, difficulties with task initiation may be associated with ADHD, learning challenges, anxiety, or other factors affecting executive functioning.
When difficulties are persistent or significantly affecting daily functioning, a psychoeducational assessment may be helpful in certain situations to better understand a child's learning and attention-related strengths, challenges, and support needs. Therapy can also help children and teens develop strategies for managing avoidance, frustration, anxiety, or other emotional barriers to getting started.
Final Thoughts
When a child or teen repeatedly struggles to begin homework, chores, or everyday responsibilities, it's understandable for parents to feel frustrated. However, what looks like a lack of motivation may sometimes reflect difficulty with the executive functioning skills needed to move from knowing what to do to actually doing it.
Rather than focusing only on getting children to comply, it can be helpful to consider what makes starting difficult and what supports might make that first step easier.
With manageable expectations, predictable routines, appropriate scaffolding, and opportunities to practise, children and teens can gradually develop greater confidence and independence in managing their responsibilities.
Sometimes, the most helpful question isn't "Why won't my child just get started?" but "What does my child need to help them begin?"
If your child or teen continues to struggle with task initiation and it's affecting their daily life, you're welcome to get in touch to discuss whether additional support may be helpful.
Catherine Paton, Registered Psychologist
